


Heartbeats

by golden_carnival



Category: Phan
Genre: Amazingphil - Freeform, Gen, Heart beats, Heartbeat, Phandom - Freeform, Phanfiction, Rings, danisnotonfire - Freeform, drug overdose, phanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-01 09:59:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8620024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/golden_carnival/pseuds/golden_carnival
Summary: Phil buys rings for him and Dan that them feel each other heartbeats. When Phil is in Florida with his family he stops feeling Dan's heartbeat.





	1. Chapter 1

“Guys, seriously? It’s just a joke. Do I have to explain this to you? Settled down.” Dan fiddled with the ring around his finger. He sighed and rolled his eyes. The chat was flying. Dan sat and watched it for a few seconds and laughed at the screen. He slid the ring off his finger and tried to hold it up to the webcam. “So I don’t know if you can see it, but there’s a small band around the inside. It’s a sensor that’s supposed to detect your pulse. Right above that, is another band that imitates the feeling of a pulse. The rings come in pairs, so you feel the heartbeat of whoever’s wearing the other ring. If they’re wearing it, obviously. You know how Phil’s into all these gimmicky gadgets. He bought them as a joke and they came in the mail today.” 

 

Dan slid the ring back on his finger and changed the topic. He talked about movie and music recommendations. He’d play with the ring as he was thinking. Twisting it back and forth and pulling it off for a minute, spinning it in his fingers. #GetPhil started to trend in the chat. 

 

“Oh there it is. Guys, Phil is a very busy person. He has better things to do with his time than talk to you.”

 

"OH you’re saying you want us to see if the rings work. Right. Fine.” Dan pulled out his phone and sent a text to Phil _YouNow wants you. Bring the ring._ A couple minutes passed and Phil appeared in the doorway.

“Hey guys!” Phil waved at the chat as he walked into Dan’s room. He pulled a chair from the piano and sat down next to Dan. “How’s it going? How are you?” He took a minute to read the chat and say hello to a few fans. 

 

“I showed them the heart beat rings earlier. They want us to try them out.” Dan said, looking over at Phil. 

 

“We haven’t tried them yet. Do you think they’ll work?” They put their rings on and stared at each other for minute. “You should run to the office and back to...” 

 

“Stop. I’m gonna stop you there. I am not going to do any sort of exercise.” Dan said quickly. Phil laughed and his tongue stuck out of the side of his mouth. He knew saying that would annoy Dan.

 

“Come on Dan. Run to the office and back real quick.” Phil coxed him. “I’ll time you.” 

 

Dan sighed. “Fine.” He jumped up and started off. 

 

“Faster Dan!” Phil called out, Dan hollered something back that made Phil laugh. Dan came back breathless. “Ten seconds,” Phil reported.  

 

“Oh! I think I can feel it?” Phil focused on the ring while Dan sat down and caught his breath. He stared at Phil and raise his middle finger. Phil noticed what Dan was doing “Oi! Dan! Stop!” He pushed Dan’s hand down. “Alright. My turn.” Phil got up and raced to the other side of the house nearly slipped on his way out Dan’s door. 

 

Dan burst out laughing and started to yell out a countdown to Phil. Phil was back and sat down again next to Dan. “Seven seconds. Wow. Gotta stay on brand, eh?"

 

“Oh they work!” Dan stared at the ring on his hand. “I wonder what the science is behind it.” 

 

“Oh yeah. So I was doing some reading on it when I bought them. Do you want to know?” Phil said sitting up straighter in his chair.

 

“You know do you? Go on then.” Dan folded his hands and gave his attention to Phil.

 

“They’ve engineered little tiny metal robots that live inside the band and they’ve got little walkie-talkies so they can talk to each other.” Phil was talking confidently, while Dan fought back a smile. Dan urged Phil to continue and pressed him for more details, which Phil offered effortlessly. “They use a sort of morse code system so they can tap out the heartbeat to each other. It’s a very good system.” 

 

“Right.” A smile slipped out the corner of Dan’s mouth as he fought back laughter. “There you have it guys. Science with Phil.” They tried in vain to calm rumors of marriage. When the live show ended, #PhanisReal was trending. Dan laughed it off and brought his laptop to the lounge. Before long he was deep in the internet and lost in his own world. He never noticed that he’d left the ring on. 

 

Over the next several day, they started to wear the rings more and more. They were careful to take them off when going outside or filming. 

 

About a week after the rings came, Phil woke in the dead of night from a nightmare. He threw himself forward and stared wide-eyed into the darkness of his room. His head pounded as he tried to calm his breath. He jumped when he heard a soft knock on the door. It was Dan. 

 

“You okay?” Dan asked, sitting on the side of the bed. Phil told him it was just a nightmare., and he was fine. Dan reassured him with a side-hug. “Well, if you need anything, just raise your heart-rate.” 

 

Phil pushed him off the bed, “Shut up.” Dan laughed and went back to bed.

 

They kept this up for months. Wearing the rings only in the apartment.  It became habit. They kept a small bowl in the bathroom near the door where they would drop the rings before they went out, and then put them back on as soon as they got home.

 

When Phil went to Florida with family, Dan decided to keep his ring on all the time. Phil kept it in his pants pocket. Putting it on when he was working from his computer or sleeping. One day, while Phil and his family were walking around Disney he got a text from Dan. It simply read “Rough day.” Phil put his hand in his pocket, and slid his ring on. He kept his hand in his pocket and less than a minute later he got another text from Dan, “Thanks.” Phil pulled his phone out with his other hand and sent a text back “Be back soon. Hang in there.” 

 

Phil kept his ring on as much as he could. Dan’s depression was acting up again, which is part of why Phil had gotten the rings. Dan didn’t say it outlaid, but the rings calmed him down. When Phil put his ring on, Dan’s heart rate would regulate. 

 

The night before they left, Phil and his family went out for dinner and ran into a group of fan. They asked how Dan was and he forced a smile to say Dan was doing great. He left the ring in his pocket during dinner, but sent Dan a text to say hello “Fans say hi. Flying home tomorrow.” 

 

Seen at 19:23.

 

Phil was tired and ready for bed. So tired in fact, he forgot to put the ring on before falling asleep. He realized this the next morning and slid it on when walked to the kitchen for dinner. His family knew what and didn’t comment on it. Phil poured himself a cup of coffee. He rubbed his eyes under his glasses and sat on the sofa in the living room. While he was thumbing through Twitter he realized his couldn’t feel Dan’s heartbeat. He check the clock. It was quietly ticking 9 am local time, which means mid-day for London. Maybe Dan went out for something? He tried texting, “Morning. Getting ready for the airport. Packing you pancakes.” 

 

Delivered. 

 

Pancakes were done. Phil took another sip of his coffee and pocketed his phone. He sat at the table and spun the ring around with his thumb. Still no heartbeat. The clock on the wall run at the hour and let them know it was time to get ready to go.

 

But Phil forgot about the ring as everyone started packing. He showered, packed his things, and double-checked for his passport. Phil still hadn’t heard from Dan by the time they got to their gate. He anxiously check his phone, keep his ring on and his hand in his pocket. He watched the time. A gaming video went live. Another Sim’s episode. Phil watched it from his phone. Dan had done the editing while he was on vacation. They scheduled it to go up about now, and Phil had a tweet scheduled for the same time and checked twitter. He responded to a couple of tweets. He was proud of the video. Dan had done a great job editing. 

 

A voice came on over the intercom and announcing boarding for the flight. Phil sent Dan one more text “Boarding. Not long now.” 

 

Delivered. 

 

It’s always a long flight going home. Phil tried to settle. He spent some time answering emails. Distracted himself with YouTube videos. He browsed tumblr and then settled into playing a game on his DS. He kept the ring on even though him and Dan had figured out that it didn’t work when he was flying for whatever reason. No word from Dan. 

 

When the flight finally landed, Phil was exhausted, but glad to be home. He put the ring in his pocket, gave his family hugs goodbye, and made his way home. “Almost home.” He texted Dan.

 

Delivered. 

 

He took the train and was quite in the Uber to his apartment. He kept his hand in his pocket when he could. Pressing the tip of his finger against the inside of the band until it left a mark on his skin. His brain was getting foggy now. He was beyond exhausted. He wanted to see Dan. He wanted to sleep. 

 

He pulled his keys out and fiddled with the lock. The smell of home rushed him and he pushed his suitcase in with his leg. He slipped his ring on and yelled out, “Dan! I’m home!” He left his suitcase in the entry he moved up the stairs. “Dan! Where are you?”

 

He check the office. Not there.

 

He check the lounge. Not there.

 

He check the kitchen. Not…Phil’s keys dropped. He eyes filled. He caught his breath. 

 

“DAN!” He rushed to Dan. His body was curled on the floor. A bottle of pills was spilled out and half-full bottle of wine was on the counter. “Dan! Dan!” Phil shook Dan, but he wasn’t responding. Phil saw Dan’s ring, lying amounts the spilled pills. Phil throat dried.

 

“No no no no no...” he gasped. “Not like this, Dan. Come on.” He tried to shake Dan again. No response. He pulled his phone out to call for help. The battery was dead. He pulled Dan’s phone from his pocket and saw the texts he had sent Dan amongst several others. “Almost home” at the top of the pile. 

 

Phil bit the inside of his lip and close his eyes, leaning over Dan. His worst fear, the idea he didn’t dare entertain, had become his reality. He wet his cheeks with tears and sobbed. He felt a knot grow in his stomach. He felt sick. He opened his eyes and wipe his face with his coat sleeve. He saw Dan’s still face and closed his eyes again. He still saw Dan’s face, but his mind’s saw him laughing. Phil saw his dimple. He saw his body shake with joy. Phil saw Dan in vibrate color. 

 

But then he opened his eyes. Dan was in grey. No color in his face. His mouth closed. His whole body still. Phil reached for the pill bottle. “DO NOT drink alcoholic beverages when taking this medication." 

 

Phil’s chest shook. He reached for the bottle of wine. He took a long drink quenching his dry throat. The tears returned. He stared at the bottle and thought about Dan. Within the next few minutes both bottles were empty.

 

Phil’s body started to shake. His stomach cramped. He doubled over in pain and his head started to spin. The shaking stopped for a moment. He took Dan’s phone, and opened the notes. It took all his focus, but he typed out “It’s not worth it without Dan. Love you all.” He laid himself on the kitchen floor. He felt his stomach churn. His whole abdomen cramped again and he rolled over in the fetal position. He blacked out. 

 

The clock on the wall ticked steady and quiet. 

 

Dan’s phone buzzed on the floor. Another email. 

 

The bathroom sink dripped. A problem that never got fixed. 

 

A crack in the lounge window let in a winter breeze. 

 

The whole apartment was still. Nothing made a sound, except for the clock on the wall. It ticked steady and quiet. 

 

* * *

 

Drug overdose can lead to death, but it can also lead to a coma. 

 

Dan started waking up. It happened slowly, then all at once. He had an adrenaline rush. He sat up suddenly. Blood rushed through his whole head. His vision was blurry, but only for a second. Another adrenaline rush. He was suddenly very aware of his body. He was in pain. Fatigued. He was hungry, thirsty, and stiff. He head was pounding. Fever? No. That’s not right. He’d hit his head when he passed out. He had spilled the pills. Then Dan's hand brushed Phil’s body.

 

“PHIL!” He realized quickly what happened when he saw the empty bottles. “SHIT! Phil no!” Dan grabbed his phone and opened it to call for help. He saw Phil’s note and fought back tears, head pounding. He made the call. Keeping enough clarity to give his location and something about drug overdose. “Hurry please,” he stayed on the phone, but his ears started to feel like they were stuffed with cotton. He couldn’t hear anything.

 

The adrenaline faded. He saw the ring on Phil’s hand. He reached for his own. His mind fogged. The room started to spin and his vision left for a minute. It came back as he put the ring on his finger. With his last bit of energy he pulled Phil closer to him, resting Phil’s head on his lap. Dan leaned up against the cabinets and tried to pace his breathing. He lost consciousness as he heard medics break open the door. He heard the muffled sound of them calling to him. He heard his own voice call out in response. Blurred figured came into the kitchen. 

 

The clock on the wall ticked steady and quiet. 


	2. Heartbeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five years after "Heartbeats"

They had both slipped into coma’s after help had arrived. By the time he woke up, he realized he was alone now. 

It took a while before he had been ready to make videos again. He uploaded to DanAndPhilGAMES a couple more times, but it didn’t seem right with the empty chair next to him. Too lonely.

 

He moved out of the flat a couple months after the funeral. PJ and Jack came over to help sort and pack. Music hummed in the background and neither said anything when tears came. Most of it they donated. Some things they actioned off and donated to charity. He would have wanted that. But some things he kept for old times sake. He liked the ridiculous suit-coat and the Christmas jumper. He kept his pillow too. A little piece of home to hold on long nights. And he always wore the rings. He kept them on a chain around his neck. Some days they weighed on him more than others. He would catch himself playing with them occasionally when he was riding the tube or waiting in line for coffee. 

 

Time heals, and he was okay. He found new things to be happy. Always remember when Dan and Phil was a thing. 

 

It was mid-November now. Five years later. It cold for this time of year, he pulled the potato sake jumper over his wrists, covering the whiskers tattoo he’d gotten three years ago. The cold wind bit at his face and eyes as he fought back tears. Three more rows of tombstones and he would be there. He went alone. It didn’t seem right to go with anyone. He pulled in a deep breath when he got there. There was always something when he came to visit. Phan art. A bouquet of flowers. A dil doll. A CD with “LADDERs” printed on it in comic sans. He smiled when he saw everything.

 

He tired to talk, “That..” he took a breath, “that was the most fun I ever had.” 

 

He sat on the cold ground for few minutes. Letting time pass quietly. The cold air creeped through his clothes and he started to get cold. He stood up and brushed the cold stone before standing up. 

 

“I miss you, Dan.” 


End file.
